Diamonds or Dirt. Which Would You Choose?


I am not the most selfless person in the world. The impulse to put others first, so natural for so many, doesn’t come naturally to me. I’m not proud of this nor do I really understand it. I’m guessing it has something to do with my father not playing catch with me enough when I was a kid. Whatever. The point is I recognize the flaw and work on it in my own way. For instance, I’ve made “Someone You Should Know” a regular feature of my blog. Each post in the series highlights someone who in my view has done something extraordinary. I have introduced people to Jay Dorfman, gifted photographer and film maker; Tom Gould, Peabody, Massachusetts City Councilor, entrepreneur and humanitarian; Linda Samuels, author, educator and visionary; and Laverne Auguste, a bright, passionate young woman who will most certainly change the world.

Beyond Hallmark

I have, till now, refrained from writing about Judy, my best friend, partner and wife. There are a couple of reasons for this. One, I’ve been a little squeamish about bringing my personal life into so public an arena and two, I’ve feared that anything I wrote about her would read like a sappy Hallmark card (not that there’s anything wrong with that). So why now?

Just Buy Me Dirt

We, like many families, are experiencing our share of difficulty – health, money, career – you get the picture. But like the palm tree planted in the shifting sand of a windswept beach, Judy bounces back. She always bounces back.

Yesterday was a beautiful day here on Boston’s north shore. It was, as most Sundays are for us, a day of no computers, no emails, just relaxing and recharging. So I asked Judy what she wanted to do.

“Is there anything I can buy for you today?” I asked. “Perhaps that diamond ring I never bought you” I added jokingly (very jokingly).

She didn’t hesitate. “Dirt. Just buy me dirt”. And she meant it.

“I just offered to buy you a diamond and you want dirt?”

“Yes” she answered. “I just want a few plants, some potting soil and bark mulch and I’ll be happy.”

In that moment everything I love about her crystallized and hung there in the air.

And Now Back to You

If you had to write a Hallmark card about someone, who would it be? Write one. You don’t need to publish it or even show it to anyone. Think about someone you love and just do it.

Photo credit: ryaninc

Worried About the Next Generation? Don’t Be.

Linda Samuels and Laverne Auguste

Linda Samuels (left) and Laverne Auguste (right)

Recently my good friend and colleague, Linda Samuels, invited me to sit on a panel of professional business people and entrepreneurs at the Sawyer Business School at Suffolk University in Boston. The purpose of the gathering was their experiential/field research presentation of their business plans by four of Linda’s Executive MBA students. The members of the panel were there to listen, take notes, ask questions and make suggestions for the path forward. We were, after all, working professionals who presumably had taken our share of hits, gotten up off the canvas, persevered and  kept going.  I was honored to be invited.

College or College of Hard Knocks

There is a presumption among those entrepreneurs of my generation who did not go to college that the lessons learned in the so called  “College of Hard Knocks” are far more valuable than those learned in college. Not true! If I had been half as prepared to start my business as Linda’s students will be, I would have made fewer mistakes, lost less sleep and made more money. No matter how comprehensive a business plan is, you can never totally avoid the hardships of starting and growing a business. Linda’s students know this. That’s why their plans include an exit strategy. When I jumped into my business I didn’t know what an exit strategy was. I did what the Vikings used to do. I landed on foreign soil and burned the lifeboats. I couldn’t  “exit” if I wanted to.  So much for the “College of Hard Knocks.”

St. Lucia’s Gift to the World*

Laverne Auguste Presenting her Experiential Field Research

Laverne Auguste Presenting her Experiential Field Research

With Linda as my advisor/mentor and her commitment to my learning, I can truly say I felt empowered to conquer the entrepreneurial world.

Laverne Auguste

Back to Linda’s Executive MBA students. Meet Laverne Auguste. She is from the beautiful Caribbean island of St. Lucia. Part of the Lesser Antilles, St. Lucia is located north/northeast of the island of Saint Vincent, northwest of Barbados and south of Martinique. As of 2010, its population was 174,000. Its main industry, like much of the Caribbean, is tourism. It’s easy to see why. Because her success depends largely on being first to market it would be imprudent for me to discuss the details of Laverne’s business. You will have to wait until she graces the cover of Entrepreneur Magazine. I will say this: She will create jobs and raise the standard of living first in her native St. Lucia, then throughout the Caribbean and quite possibly the rest of the developing world. Why do I say that? Because she has “it” – that combination of talent, passion and resilience that fuels all entrepreneurs. A young woman with her intelligence can succeed at anything. But she didn’t choose just anything. She chose something that she is passionate about and believes in. It was her passion and commitment that inspired her to name her company after her  grandmother, Martha Auguste, who instilled values in her as a child and even today is a major influence in her life . The fire is lit. It won’t go out.

My Takeaway

Listening to Laverne talk about her business was inspiring. Her plan was thorough and thoughtful. It covered every foreseeable  contingency. It  was also eye opening. I came home, pulled out my business plan and chuckled to myself. Let’s just say I had left some things out. Like burning the lifeboats. I will be going back to my plan and reworking it.

And Now Back to You

I’d love to hear from successful entrepreneurs who did not go to college. Did you ever wonder if your path would have been easier if you had? Do you feel like you missed something that you couldn’t have gotten any other way? Or looking back, do you think college wouldn’t have mattered that much? Talk to me.


Suffolk University's EMBA ProgramFind out more about Suffolk University’s Executive MBA program.


*In the interests of thoroughness I should point out that two Nobel laureates, Arthur Lewis, an economist, and Derek Walcott, a poet and playwright, have come from the island of St. Lucia. My guess however, is that future generations of St. Lucians will remember Laverne Auguste for having a greater impact on their daily lives.

Confessions of an Overworker

I have a habit of taking on more work than I should. There, I’ve said it. I don’t think I’m a masochist. I just have a hard time saying no. This is not all bad. It certainly forces me to be more organized and efficient. But as deadlines loom, I begin envying those people who thrive on four hours sleep a night. You know who you are. Really, I wish I was one of you. I’m not. And it’s not an age thing. I couldn’t do it when I was 20 years old either (although I did it anyway). To be clear, I am not a workaholic. At least I don’t think I am. It’s just that I will, for stretches of time, fill my plate with enormous portions of work. I generally don’t realize what I’ve  committed to until I see the telltale signs:
  • I want to throw something at the phone every time it rings (how dare they interrupt me)
  • I forget to eat (what is that annoying growling in my stomach?)
  • I’m completely unaware of the time (you’re kidding, it can’t be 5 o’clock)
  • I forget to take out the trash (I’ll do it next week)
  • I forget I have dogs (what is that smell?)
  • I realize I’ve been wearing the same clothes for three days (what is that smell?)

It’s About Feeling Worthy

Hello! Anybody in there?

So why do I do it? Well there’s the money. But that’s not it.  It’s more about this: each time a client hires me I hear the Sally Fields quote playing in my head. “You like me. You really like me.”  I don’t know about you but I like to be liked. It’s very validating. It’s just that it may not be such a good idea for too many clients to like me at the same time. But in the adrenaline rush that always accompanies signing on a new client, I forget that the number of hours in a day does not expand in proportion to how much work you have to get done. Something on my personal to do list ends up not getting done. Someone in my life ends up feeling neglected. During one of my work marathons it’s not uncommon for me to emerge from my office to find that Darla (Yorkshire Terrier number two) has left me a token of her displeasure at being ignored. Ooops!

It Still Has to be About Quality

I take enormous pride in how I do what I do. Integrity demands that. So while there are countless opportunities to cut corners, to take the easy way out in ways that no one will ever know, I won’t go there. That’s why all my clients speak well of me. (Okay, maybe not all but certainly most). And that’s why, no matter how much is on my plate, I will never sacrifice quality. That’s also the reason I occasionally end up looking like the photo at the top of the page. Scary isn’t it?

Why Am I Telling You All of This?

I am committed to blogging as least once a week no matter what. Even if I’m in one of my “how the heck am I going to get all this done” periods. It’s important to me. It’s also important that whatever I put out there in the world is an honest expression of me. I don’t have a public and a private voice. I have one voice. My voice. So rather than scuffling to find a topic this week, I thought why not just simply share what I’m actually feeling. I’m guessing there are some of you out there who every now and then experience the same thing. It’s okay. Don’t beat yourself up.

And Now Back to You

Do you commit to more than you can do? If so, how do you handle it? If you’re one of those “I only need four hours of sleep” types, I’d love to hear from you. If you’ve got a routine or a technique for getting through these periods of high work volume, can you share it? Talk to me.

Success – How Do You Define It?

Success – what is it? Everyone, it seems, has a definition – literally everyone. What I know for sure is that it’s elusive, impossible to define, very subjective and something everyone wants. Curious about what others had to say, I visited the Brainy Quote website. Here, in no particular order, are some of my favorites:

A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.”
David Brinkley

How can they say my life is not a success? Have I not for more than sixty years got enough to eat and escaped being eaten?”
Logan P. Smith

Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.”
Erma Bombeck

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.”
Winston Churchill

Success isn’t a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire.”
Arnold H. Glasow

The measure of success is not whether you have a tough problem to deal with, but whether it is the same problem you had last year.”
John Foster Dulles

These next two are my favorites. The Shirley Jones quote because it’s funny (I like funny) and the Tennessee Williams quote because …. well just because.

After I won the Oscar, my salary doubled, my friends tripled, my children became more popular at school, my butcher made a pass at me, and my maid hit me up for a raise.”
Shirley Jones

Success is blocked by concentrating on it and planning for it… Success is shy – it won’t come out while you’re watching.”
Tennessee Williams

Yes, it’s Personal. Very Personal

As you can see, everyone has their own take on success. It’s a moving target. Not only does it look different to different people, it looks different at different stages in your life. It certainly doesn’t look the same to me as it did thirty years ago. Let me digress for a moment. I belong to several professional networking organizations and local chambers of commerce. These memberships give me access to hundreds of business people. From plumbers to attorneys and every conceivable profession in between, I can always find someone I know, like and trust enough to refer to one of my clients. At a recent business expo, I met Chris Gilbert, a video production veteran with a great idea – capturing the essence of a business in a one minute video. I immediately recognized an opportunity. I referred Chris to one of my clients. They connected and Chris was hired. I was so happy when he called to thank me for the referral. But it was more than just happy. It was a deep feeling of satisfaction – a sort of pervasive contentment that just made me smile inside. My definition of success had changed again. So here it is:

I am successful to the extent that I can contribute to the success of others.

Now Back to You

Do you consider yourself a success? If not, have you thought much about it? If you could wake up tomorrow morning and suddenly be successful, what would that look like? Is it about money? Is it about having choices? Has the idea of success changed for you over the years? Talk to me.

Photo credit: Manoj Kengudelu

Does Working From Home Work?

Daydreaming

Daydreaming - both a danger and a benefit

Millions of people work from home. I’m one of them. That means that except for time spent in client meetings or at networking events, I spend hours each day in isolation. Yes, Teddy and Darla are around but they’re dogs and don’t usually have good advice when I’m stuck. Lately I’ve been wondering if this is such a good idea. It’s not the working from home part. It’s the working alone part. If you work from home with no one else around you all day then maybe you’ve been wondering the same thing.

So here is my take.

The Upside

  • It takes me 10 seconds to get from my bed to my office. 12 if I’ve had a late night
  • I can wear silly clothes – this is one of my favorite benefits
  • I can daydream and no one will smack me on the head and tell me to snap out of it (see photo above)
  • I save a ton of money not renting an office
  • I can write off a lot of my expenses
  • When  the spirit moves me I can pick up my guitar (visible just over my left shoulder in photo) and bang out some tunes
  • Food (very important) is just footsteps away

The Downside

  • It’s hard to know when my work day is over
  • It’s a little tricky having clients over
  • The dogs bark while I’m on the phone
  • I can daydream and no one will smack me on the head and tell me to snap out of it (see photo above)
  • When  the spirit moves me I can pick up my guitar (visible just over my left shoulder in photo) and bang out some tunes

Distraction or Inspiration?

St. Martin

St. Martin - Daydream or Inspiration?

If you’re paying attention then right now you’re asking yourselves “how can you have two items in both the Upside and Downside lists?” Good question. …and the core of my dilemma. You see there are times during my day when reaching for my guitar clearly is a distraction. But I’m a creative person and more often than not taking a little time in between brilliant ideas to noodle (yes, wrong use of word) on my guitar gets the creative juices flowing. Voila! Distraction turns into inspiration.  That’s why it’s on both the Upside and Downside lists. Same thing for daydreaming. I have photos of St. Martin, the idyllic Caribbean island, pinned to the corkboard over my desk. My wife and I, along with our best friends, vacationed there a few years ago. It’s one of the great memories of my life. But sometimes I blankly stare at these photos daydreaming the day away desperately needing to be smacked on the head and told to snap out of it. Other times I deliberately stare at these photos determined to do the work necessary to get me back there. See where I’m going with this?

And Now Back to You

On balance, working from home works for me. But not because there are more reasons on the Upside list than the Downside list. It’s more subtle than that. It works because it feels right. At some point in the future it might not feel right anymore. When that happens I will reevaluate. What about you? If you work from home what are the issues you struggle with? What distracts you? What works for you? Talk to me.

 

If My Dogs Could Talk to Each Other

Teddy and Darls
Darla and Teddy

Teddy: I was fine before you got here, kid. Life was pretty quiet and predictable

Darla: ….and boring

Teddy: And who are you … Miss Excitement?

Darla: At least I’ve got personality, and, I’m the lap dog lady boss always wanted. She can’t get you to curl up in her lap no matter how she begs.

Teddy: Aloof goes with the territory when you’re pure bred like me. I came with papers you know. What would you know about papers anyway, kid?

Darla: Papers …. I don’t need no stinkin’ papers. I’m cute.

Teddy: Cute? Is that what you call that overbite? You’ve got a lot of mutt in you kid. Don’t forget that. And, what’s with the barking? Do you have to go nuts every time you see another dog or hear the doorbell ring or see a car drive down the street? You’re giving the rest of us a bad name.

Darla: Hey, I’ve got a lot of energy ok? What would you know about that, pops? You’d sleep all day if it weren’t for me.

Teddy: Energy! Is that what you call it? You are so immature. You gotta slow down and enjoy life. And another thing, if you don’t start realizing how small you are, you’re gonna get yourself killed. Remember the time you went after that Weimaraner down the street? If boss man hadn’t snatched you up off the ground, you would have been lunch.  

Darla: Oh yeah. I could have taken him. I know I could have.

Teddy: Taken him? You kidding me? You’re a 4-pound Yorkshire Terrier, kid. And you’re not getting any bigger. And, I’m not bailing you out either.

Darla: Bailing me out? Every time you hear a noise you run the other way.

Teddy: Survival, kid. That’s what it’s all about.

Darla: Hey you gotta live a little you know…. Hey pops?

Teddy: Yeah, kid

Darla: Can I ask you something?

Teddy: What is it now?

Darla: Were you really happier before I got here? Tell me the truth.

Teddy: The truth? You can’t handle the truth!

Darla: Hey, I’ve seen that look in your eye when we’re wrestling with the rubber chicken. Don’t you even like me a little?

Teddy: Alright, kid. Come closer so the boss can’t hear. Yeah, I guess you’ve kinda grown on me.

Darla: Gee thanks pops….I love you too.