I have a habit of taking on more work than I should. There, I’ve said it. I don’t think I’m a masochist. I just have a hard time saying no. This is not all bad. It certainly forces me to be more organized and efficient. But as deadlines loom, I begin envying those people who thrive on four hours sleep a night. You know who you are. Really, I wish I was one of you. I’m not. And it’s not an age thing. I couldn’t do it when I was 20 years old either (although I did it anyway). To be clear, I am not a workaholic. At least I don’t think I am. It’s just that I will, for stretches of time, fill my plate with enormous portions of work. I generally don’t realize what I’ve  committed to until I see the telltale signs:

• I want to throw something at the phone every time it rings (how dare they interrupt me)
• I forget to eat (what is that annoying growling in my stomach?)
• I’m completely unaware of the time (you’re kidding, it can’t be 5 o’clock)
• I forget to take out the trash (I’ll do it next week)
• I forget I have dogs (what is that smell?)
• I realize I’ve been wearing the same clothes for three days (what is that smell?)

It’s About Feeling Worthy

So why do I do it? Well there’s the money. But that’s not it.  It’s more about this: each time a client hires me I hear the Sally Fields quote playing in my head. “You like me. You really like me.”  I don’t know about you but I like to be liked. It’s very validating. It’s just that it may not be such a good idea for too many clients to like me at the same time. But in the adrenaline rush that always accompanies signing on a new client, I forget that the number of hours in a day does not expand in proportion to how much work you have to get done. Something on my personal to do list ends up not getting done. Someone in my life ends up feeling neglected. During one of my work marathons it’s not uncommon for me to emerge from my office to find that Darla (Yorkshire Terrier number two) has left me a token of her displeasure at being ignored. Ooops!

It Still Has to be About Quality

I take enormous pride in how I do what I do. Integrity demands that. So while there are countless opportunities to cut corners, to take the easy way out in ways that no one will ever know, I won’t go there. That’s why all my clients speak well of me. (Okay, maybe not all but certainly most). And that’s why, no matter how much is on my plate, I will never sacrifice quality. That’s also the reason I occasionally end up looking like the photo at the top of the page. Scary isn’t it?

Why Am I Telling You All of This?

I am committed to blogging as least once a week no matter what. Even if I’m in one of my “how the heck am I going to get all this done” periods. It’s important to me. It’s also important that whatever I put out there in the world is an honest expression of me. I don’t have a public and a private voice. I have one voice. My voice. So rather than scuffling to find a topic this week, I thought why not just simply share what I’m actually feeling. I’m guessing there are some of you out there who every now and then experience the same thing. It’s okay. Don’t beat yourself up.

And Now Back to You

Do you commit to more than you can do? If so, how do you handle it? If you’re one of those “I only need four hours of sleep” types, I’d love to hear from you. If you’ve got a routine or a technique for getting through these periods of high work volume, can you share it? Talk to me.