I am learning to accept the truth regardless of its source. It’s hard. After all, the truth, as we’ve heard too many times, hurts. But how could it? Why should it? Here’s what I think. It’s not the truth that hurts at all but rather the manner in which it’s first revealed – its source. Maybe you’re in the midst of a heated argument with a friend/spouse/co-worker when he/she angrily spews out some vitriol that you know contains some element of truth about yourself. Or maybe an unhappy client is taking you to task for poor customer service. Or perhaps a competitor has exposed, very publicly, some of your weaknesses. In each of these scenarios, and in countless others, truth lurks, daring us to find it.
Take a Deep Breath
This is how it usually goes for me. First I get angry. I rant and rave (in my head of course), plot revenge, blame someone (not myself of course), make excuses, remain angry, calm down (only a little) then, with a pretty much ruined attitude, continue with my day. Later, much later, when the world is quieter, I sit down, take a deep breath and ask myself this question: “Was there truth in what was said to you or about you today?” Here’s the hard part. The answer is almost always yes. Now I need to painfully pull the nuggets of truth, one by one, from the mass of hurt. Ouch! Worth the effort? You bet! Truth hurts. But it’s a good hurt.
What is Truth Anyway?
A while back I blogged about success and asked how you define it. Okay amateur philosophers, ready? What is truth? From whatistruth.org, here are some of my favorites:
The truth that makes men free is for the most part the truth which men prefer not to hear.
Herbert Agar
Not being known doesn’t stop the truth from being true.
Richard Bach
You never find yourself until you face the truth.
Pearl Bailey
A truth that’s told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent.
William Blake
Truth, of course, must of necessity be stranger than fiction; for we have made fiction to suit ourselves.
G. K. Chesterton
Here is another take on the truth … the famous “You Can’t Handle the Truth” speech from A Few Good Men delivered as only Jack Nicholson could. Enjoy.
Now Back to You
How do you handle difficult truths about yourself? Are you able to accept them? Is your process anything like mine? If you’ve got a better way I’d love to hear about it. Talk to me.
Photo credit: lizmcdaniel
The flip side of this is that if you have to deliver the "truth" you can do it well or poorly. I'm a big supporter of being sensitive. I think that makes it easier for someone to hear and makes it more likely that you'll get the desired change.
The only suggestion I can make in regard to acknowledging the truth about things in your life that you know down deep were irresponsible, inconsiderate and unloving, is to first seperate the actual truth and the truth as you believe it. The difference between knowing and rationalizing is the most important step in moving-on truthfully. We all know what the truth is about ourselves. god gave us all that ability. It's commonly referred to as a "conscience"….I refer to it as "the holy spirit"….We all have it. We also have the ability to avoid and/or manipulate it. The result is always sadness, heartache and insecurites, usually covered in false happiness and confidence. Though they serve some temporary comfort, the truth is always there and does peek in once inawhile to remind us who we really are and who we really aren't. I speak from experience. Honest….Frank
Frank, thank you so much for your thoughtful perspective on this. I agree that we all know what the truth is about ourselves and that what we do about that is our choice. As humans, that choice is our greatest gift and our greatest responsibility.