Iam not the most selfless person in the world. The impulse to put others first, so natural for so many, doesn’t come naturally to me. I’m not proud of this nor do I really understand it. I’m guessing it has something to do with my father not playing catch with me enough when I was a kid. Whatever. The point is I recognize the flaw and work on it in my own way. For instance, I’ve made “Someone You Should Know” a regular feature of my blog. Each post in the series highlights someone who in my view has done something extraordinary. I have introduced people to Jay Dorfman, gifted photographer and film maker; Tom Gould, Peabody, Massachusetts City Councilor, entrepreneur and humanitarian; Linda Samuels, author, educator and visionary; and Laverne Auguste, a bright, passionate young woman who will most certainly change the world.
Beyond Hallmark
I have, till now, refrained from writing about Judy, my best friend, partner and wife. There are a couple of reasons for this. One, I’ve been a little squeamish about bringing my personal life into so public an arena and two, I’ve feared that anything I wrote about her would read like a sappy Hallmark card (not that there’s anything wrong with that). So why now?
Just Buy Me Dirt
We, like many families, are experiencing our share of difficulty – health, money, career – you get the picture. But like the palm tree planted in the shifting sand of a windswept beach, Judy bounces back. She always bounces back.
Yesterday was a beautiful day here on Boston’s north shore. It was, as most Sundays are for us, a day of no computers, no emails, just relaxing and recharging. So I asked Judy what she wanted to do.
“Is there anything I can buy for you today?” I asked. “Perhaps that diamond ring I never bought you” I added jokingly (very jokingly).
She didn’t hesitate. “Dirt. Just buy me dirt”. And she meant it.
“I just offered to buy you a diamond and you want dirt?”
“Yes” she answered. “I just want a few plants, some potting soil and bark mulch and I’ll be happy.”
In that moment everything I love about her crystallized and hung there in the air.
And Now Back to You
If you had to write a Hallmark card about someone, who would it be? Write one. You don’t need to publish it or even show it to anyone. Think about someone you love and just do it.
Success – what is it? Everyone, it seems, has a definition – literally everyone. What I know for sure is that it’s elusive, impossible to define, very subjective and something everyone wants. Curious about what others had to say, I visited the Brainy Quote website. Here, in no particular order, are some of my favorites:
A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.” David Brinkley
How can they say my life is not a success? Have I not for more than sixty years got enough to eat and escaped being eaten?” Logan P. Smith
Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.” Erma Bombeck
Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” Winston Churchill
Success isn’t a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire.” Arnold H. Glasow
The measure of success is not whether you have a tough problem to deal with, but whether it is the same problem you had last year.” John Foster Dulles
These next two are my favorites. The Shirley Jones quote because it’s funny (I like funny) and the Tennessee Williams quote because …. well just because.
After I won the Oscar, my salary doubled, my friends tripled, my children became more popular at school, my butcher made a pass at me, and my maid hit me up for a raise.” Shirley Jones
Success is blocked by concentrating on it and planning for it… Success is shy – it won’t come out while you’re watching.” Tennessee Williams
Yes, it’s Personal. Very Personal
As you can see, everyone has their own take on success. It’s a moving target. Not only does it look different to different people, it looks different at different stages in your life. It certainly doesn’t look the same to me as it did thirty years ago. Let me digress for a moment. I belong to several professional networking organizations and local chambers of commerce. These memberships give me access to hundreds of business people. From plumbers to attorneys and every conceivable profession in between, I can always find someone I know, like and trust enough to refer to one of my clients. At a recent business expo, I met Chris Gilbert, a video production veteran with a great idea – capturing the essence of a business in a one minute video. I immediately recognized an opportunity. I referred Chris to one of my clients. They connected and Chris was hired. I was so happy when he called to thank me for the referral. But it was more than just happy. It was a deep feeling of satisfaction – a sort of pervasive contentment that just made me smile inside. My definition of success had changed again. So here it is:
I am successful to the extent that I can contribute to the success of others.
Now Back to You
Do you consider yourself a success? If not, have you thought much about it? If you could wake up tomorrow morning and suddenly be successful, what would that look like? Is it about money? Is it about having choices? Has the idea of success changed for you over the years? Talk to me.
“My photographs are of authentic people with their emotional and physical baggage exposed.”
Jay Dorfman
Like many people, I needed a little convincing before I committed to social media. But now, a couple of years in, I’m completely hooked. Let me explain. I’ve been pretty careful about who I follow on Twitter and whose blogs I subscribe to. The reward for my diligence is that I’ve met people, heard music, seen photographs, watched videos, laughed, ruminated and generally experienced things I never would have known were out there if I wasn’t following some very creative, intelligent and generous people. So in the spirit of sharing, let me introduce you to someone you should know.
Meet Jay Dorfman
Jay Dorfman, Photographer, Film Maker, Observer of Life
Disclaimer: I have known Jay for over 45 years. We met in High School somewhere around 1965. We were band mates in a successful rock group that lived and worked in Europe in the late sixties, early seventies. He was and is one of my closest friends.
But I value my online reputation too much to use whatever reach I have to simply introduce you to my friends, though there would be nothing wrong with that. Rather, like the good people whose blogs and tweets I follow, I introduce you to Jay because knowing him and his work will enrich your life.
World Traveler, Award Winning Photojournalist
Jay has traveled to Africa, Israel, India, Cuba and Kampuchea (formerly Cambodia) and has recorded his travels in stunning images. You can explore his work in greater detail by following the links provided below:
Take some time to view Jay’s work. Am I shamelessly shilling for an old friend or is this some truly beautiful stuff? I know what I think. What about you?
