Teddy: I was fine before you got here, kid. Life was pretty quiet and predictable

Darla: ….and boring

Teddy: And who are you … Miss Excitement?

Darla: At least I’ve got personality, and, I’m the lap dog lady boss always wanted. She can’t get you to curl up in her lap no matter how she begs.

Teddy: Aloof goes with the territory when you’re pure bred like me. I came with papers you know. What would you know about papers anyway, kid?

Darla: Papers …. I don’t need no stinkin’ papers. I’m cute.

Teddy: Cute? Is that what you call that overbite? You’ve got a lot of mutt in you kid. Don’t forget that. And, what’s with the barking? Do you have to go nuts every time you see another dog or hear the doorbell ring or see a car drive down the street? You’re giving the rest of us a bad name.

Darla: Hey, I’ve got a lot of energy ok? What would you know about that, pops? You’d sleep all day if it weren’t for me.

Teddy: Energy! Is that what you call it? You are so immature. You gotta slow down and enjoy life. And another thing, if you don’t start realizing how small you are, you’re gonna get yourself killed. Remember the time you went after that Weimaraner down the street? If boss man hadn’t snatched you up off the ground, you would have been lunch.  

Darla: Oh yeah. I could have taken him. I know I could have.

Teddy: Taken him? You kidding me? You’re a 4-pound Yorkshire Terrier, kid. And you’re not getting any bigger. And, I’m not bailing you out either.

Darla: Bailing me out? Every time you hear a noise you run the other way.

Teddy: Survival, kid. That’s what it’s all about.

Darla: Hey you gotta live a little you know…. Hey pops?

Teddy: Yeah, kid

Darla: Can I ask you something?

Teddy: What is it now?

Darla: Were you really happier before I got here? Tell me the truth.

Teddy: The truth? You can’t handle the truth!

Darla: Hey, I’ve seen that look in your eye when we’re wrestling with the rubber chicken. Don’t you even like me a little?

Teddy: Alright, kid. Come closer so the boss can’t hear. Yeah, I guess you’ve kinda grown on me.

Darla: Gee thanks pops….I love you too.